did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize