so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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