She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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