..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
