But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is wine microwaveable?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
