chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
