Tell her she can't have a vagina
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
3pm strippers are depressing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
