I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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