You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
