....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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