Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
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