It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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