I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
