Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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