I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
