Dual....:-)
420 ftw
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
