Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
