this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
