he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
