i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
