I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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