you traded sex for a burrito?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize