Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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