i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
