last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
