tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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