Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
