i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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