if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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