i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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