You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
