69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm bleeding and have questions
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
