My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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