Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
