Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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