Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
420 ftw
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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