And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
