Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
