I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
