i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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