im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
