After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
