2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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