Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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