i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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