1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
