I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize