you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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