I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i've created a new STD.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
