Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We just shotgunned beers for America
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
