video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
