I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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