and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize