I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
