I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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